Can't and Won't
by DeBrabant
Summary: N/N set to a song from "The Scarlet Pimpernel". Kinda old, but hope you enjoy. If you can, review...


Can't and Won't(1,1)  
by Danii  
  
  
[I'll forget you.  
The more you stay inside of me, the weaker I grow.  
I'll forget you.  
Tomorrow, I will turn and let you go.  
I grow colder.  
I lose myself in anything but you now.  
For there is nothing I can do now...but forget.]  
  
It hurt. It hurt to be away from her, not  
knowing if she was alive or dead, sick or well, in joy  
or despair. It hurt to know that she might have found  
someone else by now, someone to hold her, to be with  
her, to love her. It hurt to know that someone wasn't  
him. It hurt to know that it could never be him, that  
it never would be him. It hurt so much.  
But he could never give her what she wanted, what  
she needed, what she deserved. If he had stayed, he  
would have held her back from happiness, and he loved  
her too much to do that. He could never give her a  
child. He could never give her his physical love. He  
could never give her normalacy. All he could give her  
was pain, despair, darkness, and a world of constant  
danger. All he could give her, he knew, was death.   
And he would not do that to her.  
But despit the reasoning, the pain remained. He  
would bear it, though. He would bear it to give her  
the chance for a normal life. He would bear it for  
her happiness, even if he never got to see it in  
person. And eventually, he reasoned further, he would  
find a new life to take up the time, and the pain  
would lessen. He didn't try to delude himself into  
thinking it would ever go away completely. That would  
never happen. He loved her so much. That's why he  
had to forget her.  
  
[I'll forget you.  
I' won't remember arms that pulled me in soft and  
slow.  
I'll forget you.  
There has to be a way to let you go!  
No more shadows.  
No more dreams of leaning in the dark above you.  
I will forget how much I love you...any day.]  
  
It hurt. It hurt that she wasn't near him, that  
she wasn't there to be with him. It hurt to be away  
from him, not knowing if he was dead or alive, well or  
in pain. It hurt to think of him holding someone  
else, of him kissing someone else, loving someone  
else. Someone that wasn't her. It hurt that he had  
run away from her, away from her love and his own. It  
hurt so much.  
But she would never find him. When he left, he  
had made himself unfindable, with not a pinch of  
papertrail. All she had was what he had left her: a  
note. A note! No goodbye, but a note, a note saying  
that he loved her but he wanted her to have a normal  
life. It was all she had. No phone number, no  
address. No way to find him. No way to tell him. No  
way to let him know that she didn't want a normal  
life. That she wanted him.  
But he was gone. She had to forget him. She  
knew she never truly would. But she would go mad if  
she didn't forget the feel of his kiss, the lovely  
tickle of his often unshaven cheek. She had to forget  
the gentle voice, the kind eyes so ful of sadness and  
love for her. She had to forget all the movie dates,  
and the popcorn. She had to forget the small touches,  
the light pecks, the words of love he had spoken in  
such a roundabout way, that they were clear. She had  
to forget the sacrifices they had made. She had to  
forget her best friend and the man she loved.  
  
[But every time I close my eyes. you come to me again!  
I swear I feel your touch... upon my skin...  
You haunt me everywhere  
'Til I reach into the air  
Trembling to think of all the nights that might have  
been!]  
  
He could feel her. Feel her wild auburn hair  
against his face, her soft touch upon his neck as she  
pulled him close. He could see her eyes, so bright  
and full of life. But it wasn't real. He opened his  
eyes. It was as it had been when he'd close them. A  
motel room. A cheap motel room. God, it hurt.  
  
[I'll forget you.  
I hear you whisper to me in the dark, still I know.  
I'll forget you.  
God help me find a way to let you go!  
I do not want you!  
But still you steal each breath I'm breathing from  
me.]  
  
She got in the car and drove. She drove to find  
him. She would find him. She didn't know where she  
was going, turning when she felt she should. She had  
no idea of location or destination, only he mattered.  
  
[With just a touch, you overcome me...]  
  
He had been mad to leave! He had to find her or  
he'd go insane. He began to dress.  
  
[And I let you]  
  
She pulled her car into a motel parking lot, only  
to see a familiar green cadillac.  
  
[I will forget you...]  
  
She burst into the room just as he was putting on  
his coat. She ran to him and kissed him.  
"I can't forget!"  
"But-"  
"I won't forget!"  
"I know"  
"Do it."  
"But-"  
  
[When I die]  
  
"I will never stop loving you, never forget you  
till the day that I die."  
"You won't have to remember. I will be with you  
always."  
  
[I will forget you]  
  
"I love you."  
"I love you."  
  
[When I die....]  
  
She opened her now amber eyes and stared at the  
man she loved. That, she would never forget.  
  
fin  
  
  
  



End file.
